Are successful women too picky?

Are successful women too picky? Can a successful woman have a successful relationship? I was driving into work today and on the radio there was a discussion about how successful women are incapable of having successful relationships because of a myriad of reasons. The one reason that stuck out to me was that the more successful you are, the pickier you are. So, to have a successful relationship, women need to lower their standards.


This is complete and total nonsense. In the DC metropolitan area, like most major cities, there are a large number of single women who are both educated and successful. It is important to note that successful is a relative term. In the case of this conversation, I think success equates to money and/or education, status, white collar, etc. Think about this. Women in this area are essentially forced to "date down" at some point. Women in white collar jobs date blue collar men all the time. Teachers date garbage men, accountants date city cops. Those of you in the DC metropolitan area must see this all the time. A woman can go out and meet a carpenter, for example, and if you are attracted to the guy, then more than likely you are going to go out with him, at least one. You may or may not hit it off with the person but at the very least you were willing to date him.

Like all relationships, things may start off good and end up a mess. I find that when I date a man that I cannot come home and tell about my day, there is a problem. I want to talk about the problem I had with the network for example and he wants to talk about who Rick Ross is dating. I want to tell him that I am up for a promotion and he wants to talk about why I am not looking for a job for him. That just doesn’t work. So what ends up happening is I have to dumb myself down to his level, which makes me feel like an idiot. So does that mean I am picky? I think not. The fact that I went out with this person blows up that notion because I did try it. I was willing to stand by him and accept his circumstances.

The reason I didn’t continue dating him has nothing to with me excluding him or dismissing him off the break. The plain truth is that we are in two different places, which caused more problems than chemistry and attraction can overcome. At some point, you need more than chemistry and attraction, like common interest, mutual hobbies, etc.

Also, men have more superficial standards that exclude a lot of good women off the break. She is too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, she wears a weave, her feet aren’t pretty, she is too dark, too light, etc. Why is it okay for a man to have criteria but not a woman? Truth be told, men probably miss out on more good women then vice versa.

The bottom line is everyone wants what they cannot have. It is the typical “the grass is greener syndrome.” No one is ever satisfied with the person until he or she moves on. It is at that point one appreciates all of the good things about the person. Only a select few of us take hold of that person right away. Those my friends are the smart ones; the ones that know when they have a good thing.

~Lola

Haynesworth is the New LaVar Arrington

Redskins keep repeating history, just not in a good way. Every time I hear or read something about the Shanahan and Haynesworth debacle I get an image of LaVar Arrington sitting on the water cooler during games in 2005. You guys remember that whole situation right? Coach Gibbs and Defensive Coordinator Greg Williams needed to make a point because Arrington's "freelancing" was supposedly hurting the team. The real issue was they lost confidence in him because of an injury and the team was not getting a big enough return on investment. Well this Haynesworth situation is eerily similar. So he took the money and doesn't want to play nose tackle. He is not the first player to sit back and collect money from the Redskins (PrimeTime anyone). Nor is he the first player that signed under the expectation that the agenda of the team wouldn't change--then it did. Can you blame him for taking the money? I can’t.

Ultimately, Haynesworth showed up when he was suppose to, at the right weight, and now Shanahan is preventing him from practicing because he is a fat guy that cannot post a decent shuffle time. Who cares really? Fans want to see him bring havoc on opposing lineman, which is all we can really expect from converting him to a nose tackle. Let's face it, I don't remember him being a big run stopper. Anyways, I would rather the team come out and say "We want our money back because we made a mistake" or "we don't think he can play" versus "he cannot pass the conditioning test." Just alleviate the drama. I really hope that this situation yields better results than the Arrington one. I really don't want to see Albert sitting on a water cooler during a game. I mean really, he takes enough plays off as it is.

As a 'Skins fan, that is tired of losing, I realize that we need Haynesworth to be productive for us to have a good season. Period. Shanahan must know that too. Yeah yeah I understand that Shanahan needs to make a point to the team but I think we can safely say that his point has been made. 'Skins fans do not want drama at the start of a season that can be a promising one.

Besides, converting to a 3-4 is no easy task, especially when you have two starters at least—Haynesworth and Andre Carter—that have had down seasons with teams that have converted to the 3-4, Tennessee and San Francisco respectively. Having said that, it is obviously in the best interest of the team to get these guys practicing together, sooner rather than later. We didn't pay Haynesworth all of that money to have him practicing with the reserves, or better yet not practicing at all. Dag on shame if you ask me.

The bottom line is this...You already paid him the money, so let him practice and see how much he can help the team. The Redskins are already waist deep into the situation, so let the chips fall where they may. You aren't going to find another DT of Haynesworth's caliber in this stage of the off season. Let him play and save the fans a lot of embarrassment. It is already hard enough supporting the 'Skins year after year after year.



Lola
donita.evans@hotmail.com